Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
