Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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