Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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