dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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