it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
