Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
