Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
