Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
