So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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