craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
