check it out our google latitudes are spooning
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
