This is not my ceiling
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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