We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
