You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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