he puts the penis in happiness.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
