Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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