..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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