every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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