he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize