You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
