Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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