I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
