He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
