tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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