worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize