the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
