well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
