how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize