dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
