I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
