No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
