Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
