like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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