wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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