Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
