Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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