Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
