I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
