Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize