So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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