I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
