I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
COCAINE IS GR8
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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