In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
