He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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