nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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