I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize