Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
