There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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