Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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