Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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