i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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