Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
