sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
