chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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