i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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