due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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