So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
