My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize