Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
