You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
