i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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