the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
the condom got lost in my hair
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
