We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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