holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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