I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
